Okay here’s the gossip: I had to fire my sitter last Wednesday because an ex-boyfriend of her’s turned into a stalker overnight and she thought he had a gun.

Now I’m shopping for a my own super nanny by posting an ad on Craig’s List and vetting and interviewing a slew of contestants. Hiring a new babysitter allows you to reinvent your needs. My previous babysitter was very good. But since I get to switch things up a bit, this time around I’m looking for someone who I don’t really have to make evening chit chat with when I’m done with work. (Admittedly, that’s more my problem than theirs. I have to stop asking them how they are, how was their day, and ask them how the boys were and how was the boys day).  I’m also looking for someone who will leave the house as clean as it was when they arrived. And who can do flash cards with Conrad while also entertaining Dashiell without turning on the TV (something I’ve yet to figure out myself). I still want them to help me put together Ikea furniture occasionally and walk the dog, fold laundry, unload the dishwasher and tell me if I have too much make up on before I go out. And I guess, from now on I want to know if they’ve ever had to get a restraining order against anyone. But after the flashcards, that doesn’t seem like the kind of stuff I should put in my ad.

Or maybe I could, because the wide range of responses I received are a pretty good indicator of how cold it is out there. I’ve heard from candidates 19 to 70 years old, students, moms, and professional nannies, and grandmothers who really need work. Some don’t know how to hide the panic in their voice. They are usually laid off because the husband in the family they used to work for lost his job and they are not sure what else they are qualified to do. It’s the older, baby nannies, the professional cuddlers who seem most adrift. The three that I’ve spoken all say the same thing: there are no more families who need extra help. They are seeing their industry (just like all of us) change and fall away entirely. Their desperation is unsettling I gently let them down explaining that since I only need someone six to nine hours I understand why they wouldn’t want the job. When they tell me they do, I have to then be more straightforward and explain that I can’t risk my kids getting attached to them if I know they’d need to leave for a job that offered more time.

I spoke to a very sweet woman during the Oscars who was a nursing student in Newark. She seemed fine until she said she didn’t have her own car.  My sitter needs to have her own transportation. I got off the phone and right then a Hyundai commercial came on that said Hyundai would help with three months of car payments if you need a car to help you get a job. I hoped she was watching the Oscars too.
But the downturn has an upside, at least a selfish one for us. My ad has attracted a bunch of polished, bright twenty-somethings women who specialize in early education and are well on their way to earning their second masters and still can’t find work related to their field.

Here’s a sampling of my candidates thus far from cold to hot!

Hi,
I have over 24 years exp in childcare from newborns to teenagers, and I am also a mother myself. Before I go on and on about myself, what are you looking to pay?

(Brrrrr….I appreciate that we all think this, but who actaully says it?)

Hi my name is …..  I am currently looking to care for children in my home in….  I saw your ad and thought it looked like a wonderful opportunity.  I have three wonderful boys ages 11, 4 and 8 and am currently caring for an 8 month old boy.  I have a clean driving record and could pick your  children up with no problem.  Also I have early childhood education experience and homeschooling experience, I could help with homework also if need be.  Thanks for your consideration.

(Chilly, chilly! This is a wonderful opportunity for my kids to be totally overwhelmed by a Lord of the Flies dynamic three days a week. You have to be one crazy saint to want six boys in your home every afternoon. I can only imagine that this would make Dashiell regress to biting, lots and lots of biting.)

I am a granny-nanny with 16+ years of professional experience.  I am certfied by the State of NJ to teach reading and have a certification in early childhood care.  I have excellent references and will provide same upon request.  This is a second-choice career because of my love for children to be well-cared for and educated.  I take great pride in my work.  I am talented in all crafts, various types of drawing, play piano and love to cook ( having been taught by parents who were in the food and restaurant business).  I like to expose the children to different types of foods and restaurants for lunch (on occasion) to teach behavior and table manners, all in a fun way.  I like to take the children to places of interest to add to their social life.  My previous  experience was in legal and industry and as such was cleared by the FBI.  I reside in ….. have a car and valid clear drivers license.  If interested, I can be reached at…

(This was a warm, sunny day that clouded over. I really liked this woman the first time I read her email and I even appreciated the FBI clearance info. The problem was she sent me three more different versions of this email. Her tech learning curve felt like a troubling spam virus and the fact that she changed each email a little bit and sent it made me imagine my own scattered mother)

Hey my name is …. and this totally sounds like me.
i’m a 19 yr old female with lots of energy.
i’m really outgoing and i enjoy having a good time and playing games.
i’m a big kid at heart but along with that i have a good head on my shoulders and very responsible.
thanks for your time!

(A nice 68 degrees. I want to respect all of these candidates privacy, but it’s worth noting that she used the term: dorkology in reference to herself. I liked her tone, but 19 is the age when even though you’ve been told not to, you still think it’s okay text while driving so I crossed her off the list. However, when I told David he said, “19! Dorklogy! Bring on the gorgeous geek!”)

Hello,
I am responding to your recent ad on Craig’s List for a part time babysitter.
I am a former pre-school teacher with a master’s degree in early childhood education. I am extremely trustworthy, honest and energetic. I am currently going to graduate school once a week to pursue a second master’s degree, and am looking to babysit a few days a week. Your position sounds like a great fit! I would love to hear more about what you are looking for
Sincerely,

(Hot! Very Hot! I’m interviewing her tomorrow!)

Hi!
I’m a 27yr old, female, fun-loving, college educated, experienced nanny looking for a part time position. I have years of experience with children ranging from as young as 18 months to as old as 15yrs, as well as multiple child, and special needs experience. My full time position is caring for a 3 1/2 yr old girl, which ended in early February. My part time position caring for kids with special needs will end soon. I will be free to work Mon-Fri any hour to any hour. I adore children and usually have an instantaneous connection with them. I’ve been looking after children of all ages for most of my life. I am a high energy, hands on learning, creative and practical person. I have excellent references, my own transportation, and flexible availability. Please contact me, if you’d like, at any time before 9pm.
I hope to hear from you soon,

(White hot. Can’t touch it hot! Also interviewing her tomorrow.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 10:51 pm and is filed under My weekly essay. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.