Sick days are the snowdays of summer
Conrad crawled into my bed in the middle of the night complaining of an upset stomach. It was the second night in a row and I suspected an appendicitis before the stomach bug because I just couldn’t imagine we’d be struck by another ailment. Conrad was an ox through the latter part of 2008. Then this spring he had: scarlet fever (for the third time in three years), lice, strep (over vacation), allergy-related pneumonia that kept him out of school for a week, and just the other day he had a huge tick on his ear for at least a night before we noticed.
This morning when he was sitting on the toilet, feeling sick to his stomach I realized it wasn’t an appendicitis, just a virus. Being mother-of-the-year my first thought was: Shit, I need to get work done today. Conrad also seemed exhausted by the idea of being sick again. He looked up at me and said: “I hate this, there’s a new choice today at school and now I have swine flu.” (Thanks NPR).
He didn’t have H1N1, but there was no getting around it: Conrad couldn’t go to school and I had to rethink my day and my deadlines. The first day of an illness I usually take off rather than have my sitter come because she happens to have a delicate immune system herself and I’ll just end up losing more time if she gets sick and can’t come. I wasn’t always this flexible. Once last year when were still living in Brooklyn and I was working at Self, Conrad threw up on the way to school and I just wiped his ski jacket off, sent him into class with a kiss and waited for the phone call at my desk, but it never came.
The sad thing is I may take the day, but I’m not actually present with him. I’m more like an escape artist, I sit with him for five or ten minutes and then disappear of twenty minutes at a time. I have to. It’s the only way I can send a few key emails to quiet that whispering “I’m fucked!” voice in my head. But since Conrad is Conrad, I know he notices. How ironic that his sick days make me miss working in an office? I miss getting to leave early because one of my kids is sick. It may have screwed up my day but everyone would cut you some slack and meeting one of the boys at a 2:45 doctor appointment could turn into a stolen moment to spend an afternoon with them, even if it was in a taxi cab on the way home. Also my sudden presence let them know I’d made time for them, they were sick and it was important enough for me to be there.
My mother once told me she loved it when I would get sick because she’d give me drugs to help me sleep and the house would get quiet and she’d have a day to herself. (My mother often shares maternal advice with me and forgets that I’m the person she’s talking about). I do remember her being very nice to me whenever I had a fever which is probably I was always trying to catch one. But while my mom was freed by my sudden lethargy, Conrad’s illnesses just make me anxious. But I knew that if he sensed it, he wouldn’t feel better so today I really tried to put work aside and say yes to his requests to read him Captain Underpants (which is top notch potty humor) and play Uno, instead of my usual, “Sure, right after I send this email.” Hopefully, I’ll have finally got the sick day routine right—though I do hope I won’t have to use it again anytime soon.