The real housewives of New Jersey
Ok you want the truth? The real housewives of New Jersey are not having catfights about whose breast implants are perkier. No we are battling more earthly demons, like bugs–big ones that come into our house and won’t leave unless we do something about it. Here’s a sampling of my recent run-ins:
- This inch worn was first spotted in our kitchen. Then I found him the guest room and then he made it all the way up my attic. He was so determined I didn’t have the heart to get rid of him. I haven’t seen him since I took this photo in July.
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This honking-sized beetle was found in our driveway and if you had seen what he had done to my beautiful lupine flower you would have driven over him too.
Conrad very bravely helped me capture this cicada that I found in the house. It appeared to be dead or sleeping because Chewie stepped on it and it didn
This spider showed up last Saturday. David was around, but it was so big, at least four inches long, that neither he or I wanted to go near it so we took the kids to the beach club (we were going anyway) and when we came home he was gone.
The real housewives of New Jersey also fix cars. The driveways in Montclair are notoriously narrow and there’s a rule that you have to park your car in your garage or as close to your garage as possible. So every morning I back out of the driveway and drive over the Belgian block or scrape a bush because there’s very little room for going in any direction other than perfectly straight. The other day I must have clipped my fender on a stone because I tore my entire fender off my car. I thought I was driving over skateboards but it was my whole fender. It looked as if someone had pulled the skin of someone’s face to reveal their jawbone. Well here’s a photo:
So I called Stacy, Suzi, Danielle and Melissa. Melissa came to my rescue, she also has a Honda CRV and knew exactly what to do, and she looked damn cute doing it (I was completely out of my realm).
Turn around girl you look so cute!
Melissa told me to get string and we tied the fender back on and I was able to drive it over to Union Honda and they snapped it on in 20 minutes for free. Apparently this happens all time. But David still isn't convinced.
M under the hood in an Antroplogie sundress.
Oh and this is what happens when you let your son have your iphone so keep him busy while you tie your fender back on. Nice boys. Real original.