I’ve confessed it to David so I can tell you too: I’m in love with Stephen Drucker, the editor-in-chief of House Beautiful. It’s a one-sided affair. He doesn’t know I exist. Even though I’ve worked in magazines for over a decade, I know better than to pursue a job at House Beautiful because I’m too much of a fan to be able to ever make a coherent sentence around him let alone write or edit stories for him.

Each month when my issue of HB arrives in my mailbox I’m consistently impressed by Mr. Drucker’s ability to take something as ordinary as neutrals or wood and create these gorgeous narratives that change the whole way I look at decorating. But it’s his April editor’s letter that has made me realize just how much not only do I need him, but the whole design world. For those of you who don’t have a subscription, here’s what he said:

“I don’t usually do this, but I’m going to get on up on my soapbox this month: There is a mean streak creeping into the design world, and it concerns me. It started on TV; I’m seeing it more in comments on blogs; then recently there was a decorating contest here in New York that turned way too Simon Cowell for me. Hurling around your opinions is part of the fun of design, but there is a line. Decorating is not a blood sport. I don’t want to see the less confident among us playing it safe, just to avoid criticism. That’s the fifties all over again. The decorator Mark Hampton, who had strong opinions and the eye to back them up, once wrote, “I look askance at people…who have these enormous refined sense of hate.” That thought always makes me think twice before I speak. As much as l like great decorating, there are some things I like even more: individuality, and an open mind.”

It’s this nastiness that has kept me from submitting pictures of my house to Apartment Therapy or when it existed,to Domino.com, or suggesting that Rand, my son’s school plan a fundraising benefit to tour all the “cottage homes” in Montclair, instead of the stately ones. But I’m not interested in inviting people to make snide remarks about my living room.

What makes HB great is that Mr. Drucker is generous: he is not a prisoner to his impeccable taste; he wants to build on ideas, not police them. It actually reminds me of when I interviewed Tina Fey (and yes it was one of the best interviews ever) and we were talking about big life lessons. She told me that she lives her whole life on the improv principal of, “yes, and…” The idea that you have to build on what your improv partner is doing to make it work. You can’t just sit in a brainstorming session and just say no to an idea, you have to work with it and improve it and take it somewhere.

When we bought our house, I’d wake up in the middle of the night and lie there for hours ruminating over paint colors. In the end, I decided to be sensible and I chose Farrow and Ball “String” (which is like a sandy beige) for the walls and Benjamin Moore “Lookout Point” (a pale endless blue) for the ceilings. It was a combo approved by a decorator friend and an idea that came straight out of the pages of House Beautiful. Much to my surprise,  my painter accidentally reversed all the colors. When I walked in on moving day there were baby blue walls and beige ceilings. It’s been the most gorgeous mistake of my decorating life—and I can’t even take credit.

I guess it all comes down to this: I’m 40 and I live in the suburbs. I don’t drink that much anymore, heck lately I can’t even stay up past 11pm and now that the warm weather is here I know its time to put away the Girl Scout cookies. My life is safe, not suffocating Leave it to Beaver safe but a heck of a lot safer than an episode of America’s Funniest Videos, a show I can’t stop watching with my kids. But there are times when I want to ride my decorating BMX bike off some chintzy cliff just to see what would happen. Mr. Drucker reminded me that I can and should because it’s only decorating and I’ll probably just land in a pile of throw pillows.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 16th, 2010 at 3:47 pm and is filed under Happiness through home decor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.