As nightmares go, the NYC bedbug epidemic is top on my list and now that New York Magazine has run this excellent article on the Upper East Side’s secret service exterminators, I love New Jersey suburbs more than ever before. Granted, I’m not so naive to think that we will remain bedbug free, they will come here with all the other migrating families. But for now I am glad to feel safe and unbitten in Montclair.

I have a friend who is so obsessed and fearful of her home in Dobbs Ferry being infested she has laid down some very strict rules that after reading the article now sound like common sense:

She won’t allow anyone who lives in NYC, SF or LA to spend the night at her home. These cities all have bedbug epidemics.

She won’t stay in a hotel in any of these cities.

She won’t ride the subway.

She won’t shop at estate sales, ever. Bedbugs can live in wood. They can burrow into your phone and you have to painstakingly steam clean, chuck or burn everything in order to get rid of them.

“Everything had to go. Margaret recalls a “special company wearing what looked like hazmat suits.” The men removed everything that couldn’t be dry-cleaned—rugs, books, luggage, paintings, shoes, toys, computers, even radios. Only simple, hard-surfaced items, like china and silverware (which even bedbugs can’t burrow into), remained in the apartment.”

Other things you should know but people don’t tell you or talk about:

Bed bugs have an odor (how freaked out are you now!)

Pest Away, a firm mentioned in the peice, receives between 50 and 75 calls about bedbugs from the Upper East Side every week—and that’s just one firm.

Bedbugs tend to bite in threes—either in a line or in a triangle. In the article is says, “In exterminator jargon, this pattern is known as “breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” They have been known to leave triangular shaped bites on victim’s foreheads.

And now for some service: The number one way to turn a problem into an infestation:

If you have them in your mattress get rid of your mattress. Don’t move to the couch. If you move to the couch, they will move to your couch and infest your whole apartment. According to my friend, “they just want to stay with the food source.”

I think it’s official: we can put away the mittens. I never trust the sudden warm days but now that we’ve practically stumbled into a springtime heatwave I’m letting myself relax and believe that these vitamin D-rich days are here to stay.

The problem is that the first quarter of 2010 left me with post-traumatic-winter-syndrome. I tried to tell myself that I was happy to be writing in my pajamas rather than wading through slush in the city and ruining my Ugg-inspired FitFlop boots, but now that I can step outside with my bare unpedicured feet and run down our street lined with lacy floral trees to hail the ice cream man I realize that this past winter left me more shell-shocked that previous years. All through January and February and most of March, I was certain that David would stay downstairs every night playing video games while I went upstairs and overidentified with The Bell Jar.

(more…)

I have a crush on a dermatologist. There I said it. But then I really love doctors, some people are star-struck I’m med-struck. But what really makes me swoon is when I meet a  dermatologist who gives great interviews. One of my all time favorite derms is Dr. Dennis Gross. Now that its really winter, the kind of cold that isn’t charming or atmospheric just draining, gray and making my skin itch I asked him how I can feel just a little bit better about my skin tone. I’m sharing his tips because they are as reassuring as smelling hyacinth in the dead of winter.

I’m 40 do I need to start to lay down big money on my face cream? I will if I have to.

A gentle daily peel is an anti-aging cure-all and if I had to recommend only one product this would be it! (Naturally he really likes his daily face peel product). The peel not only diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, but helps complexion problems, balances oil, tones skin, increases clarity and provides microexfoliation. It’s gentle enough for everyday use so start as early as possible to reap its cumulative results.

Also, look for moisturizers that contain hyaluronic acid, which actually brings water from the atmosphere into your skin, so it will look plumper and firmer. Hydration, both internally and externally, is key to maintaining that degree of plumpness. When skin is plump, lines and wrinkles are less apparent and enlarged pores look smaller.

Can eating certain foods, more than just drinking water really make my skin look younger?

There is no question that diet is important for your skin. What’s good for the heart is good for the skin. Skin requires essential fatty acidswhich are not naturally produced so eating things like avocado, cheese, dairy products on a daily basis can be beneficial.

I also recommend the tri-color salad approach. If you order a salad, make sure they are a bunch of different colors- red cabbage, green lettuce, etc. Eat vegetables that have a lot of color, nature color codes vegetables for us. The more colors you eat, the better.

What’s the one thing I should stop doing to improve the skin on my body?

It is important to understand that with very little effort, you can make a big difference. In general, don’t walk around in your sweaty clothes after exercising. Doing so may trap oil and bacteria in the skinwhich can lead to back acne. It is a good idea to shower and change your clothes immediately after an exercise session.

No matter how much cream I use, I feel like my skin is dry?

To lock in moisture close the bathroom door and let the steam build up while you shower. Afterwards, immediately moisturize in the steam.  More moisture is present in the atmosphere, which means your skin is able to draw in more moisture via the humectants in your lotion.  And try not shower in very hot water.  Hot water strips the skin of its own natural oils, leading to drying and possible irritation, which sounds like the cycle you’re caught in.

I was just invited to a friend’s house in Miami for President’s day weekend. I want to go, but there’s something in my way (beyond not being ready to be in a bathing suit and having pasty, white, winter skin). It’s my fear of bikini wax. Seriously, I’m a baby and once when I much younger I treated myself to a  Completely Bare wax and the nice cosmetologist (who was also a body buildler) told me that she’d do it, but I was not cut out for this kind of beauty treatment. She kept saying, you are shaking, you are so scared, maybe you should be happy the way you are. Mind you, she had just confided in me that once she tore off part of a woman’s labia because she flinched when she wasn’t supposed to. Waxing is always going to hurt, she said, unless you keep coming to get calluses used to the pain. I didn’t go back.

But I can’t wear those bathing suits with skirts. I will have to get it done eventually. So I decided to investigate and I called Nikita Wilson, a chemist and vice president of Cosmetech Laboratories in Fairfield, New Jersey to get the real deal on an ouchless wax. “You’re never going to get a painless wax,” she said, but she does think new breakthroughs have made waxing more bearable.

Here’s what you do: Pretreat the area with an over-the-counter lidocaine cream (such as GiGi Anesthetic Skin Numbing Spray, $20), which acts like a low dose topical novocaine. Sprinkle powder on your bikini line. It zaps moisture and makes the hair easier to grip. Whether you’re getting waxed at a salon or using a kit, make sure the wax contains essential oils or an antimicrobial to soothe. Lavender oil and tea tree oil create a barrier between the wax and your skin so the wax grabs only your hair follicle—not the skin surrounding the hair, which is one reason you feel pain. Also be sure your kit that contains azulene, a potent anti-inflammatory that won’t reduce the sensation of stripping but will reduce the sensitivity and irritation afterward.  Salons may use a wax infused with anti-inflammatory, or they may apply azulene oil (like Parissa Azulene Oil Aftercare, $9) as a post-treatment.

When you are ready to rip: The direction you tear the wax off can reduce the intensity of the pain. Apply the wax in the same direction your hair grows, then press down. When pulling the wax off, don’t tear the strip up and off as if you would a Band-Aid. Instead, quickly pull the strip away as if you are turning a page in a book; this puts less pressure on your skin and hair, so it stings less.

Honestly, now I’m kind of excited, but we’ll see what really happens.

I have just been assigned a fun new project for W magazine. I’ll be hunting the web for the most intriguing fashion stories of the week. Here’s my first post.

One of my favorites was refinery29’s post about Steven Meisel’s H1N1 inspired fashion shoot for Vogue Italia. But then we know this is a topic close to my heart and respiratory system.

Here’s an outtake:

Even though I’m not a doctor, I play one when I go online. I surf the web and diagnose myself with any illness I think I might have. I’ve had ovarian cancer, IBS, hiatal hernias, and PID—all in my mind.

But after three days of a fever of 101 I realized that I had more than a bad cold.  I logged onto the CDC and compared my symptoms to H1N1: Fever. Check. Respiratory Cough. Aches. Chills. Check. Check. Check. The next day, I was at my doctor’s office and she was writing me a script for a Tamiflu and Codeine cough syrup.

With my scripts in one hand and my cell in the other I speed dialed Dr. Sirna, my kid’s pediatrician from the foyer of my doctor’s office because Dashiell, my youngest, has asthma. The receptionist told me she’d have him call me right back. I turned the volume up on my iPhone and told Dashiell he could not play Frogger on my phone anymore so I would be sure to get his call. I even brought the phone into the bathroom with me. I kept checking that the ringer was on as if had some Flu-OCD and it reminded me of when I was a staff writer for SELF, and I’d be waiting to do a celebrity phone interview.

Celebs prefer to call you because they don’t want you to have their number and they rarely call on time so I’d be stuck at my desk trying to occupy myself for anywhere for five to fifty minutes—but I’d really just be glancing at the phone, pretending to write another story.  The only person who called me on time, actually a few minutes early, was Jody Foster. I had to be called out of meeting to take her call. Hearing “Jody Foster is on the phone for you” is a love-your-life kind of moment.

But when you have the flu and your kid has asthma during a possible H1N1 outbreak getting a call from your kid’s pediatrician feels even more reassuring. It also doesn’t hurt that Dr. Sirna is a Jason Bateman look alike.

I told Dr. Sirna that I had the flu but I didn’t know what kind, he said, “If your doctor diagnosed you with the flu and gave you a script for Tamiflu, you have H1N1 because seasonal flu has not started yet.” He also told me that the H1N1 is not behaving in the way they expected, its much more mild.

Well not mine. (more…)

I’ve been reporting for a beauty story and talking to a bunch of experts. One of my favorite interviews has been with Troy Suratt, a celebrity makeup artist and we were talking about shimmer shadows and whether or not they make you look old. I think they do.

I told Troy that I haven’t worn shimmer since 2000, when I was getting ready for my 30th birthday party with a beauty editor friend and she told me that I shouldn’t wear shimmer eye-shadow because it would draw attention to the wrinkles around my eyes. I dropped shimmer from my makeup kit and I dropped her too.

Here’s what he Troy had to say:

“Yes in the past shimmer shadows had a tendency to collect in wrinkles or emphasize  fine lines however today the pigment technology is such that pigments are so micro-jet-milled that the particle size is so small the light-reflecting-pigments actually  bring forgiveness to the eyes and the fine lines around the eyes.”

I’m running to CVS for a champange shade for my lids.

I’m starting a new advice column on Motherblogger. My dear friend, Peter Schaeffer, Ph.D an amazing psychotherapist will also be on hand to answer questions. Here’s the first installment. Send us the questions that are keeping you up all night and we promise to answer them as best we can. My specialty: gifts for friends. Schaeffer’s specialty: all real problems.

Dear Motherblogger,

I want to lose weight before my kid’s school starts so I look good when I see all my old mom friends on the playground at pickup. But it’s only a week away and I refuse to do the Cabbage Diet. I don’t have time to workout because we’re hosting friends for Labor Day weekend and frankly after a summer with my kids my willpower is shot and I need to eat and drink whatever I please to feel happy. Any suggestions?

Signed,

Always a 10, never an 8

Dear 10,

I feel the same way. Somehow I always start off fit in June and soft around the edges in September.  For me summer is like the holiday-time only it lasts for three months. Someone pours me a glass of rose at 2:30 in the afternoon and I think, “What the heck its summer.” Same goes for when I see corn or the cob and lobster salad.  Or I hear the ice cream man ring his jingle. I wave him down, ostensibly for the kids, and order a Toasted Almond bar too telling myself, “What the heck it summer”. When it’s time to start packing school lunches, I’ve packed on a few too.

Now that the weather is cooler though I’m ready to slip into something less forgiving than a tankini and a cover up. A friend invited me shopping today, but I had to work and I was relieved because I wasn’t ready to watch myself try to wiggle into a pair of jeans that are just a wee bit to tight.

So she went off to Nordstrom’s without me and while there she was fitted for a new Wacoal bra. She came back walking taller looking like she lost ten pounds. When I complemented her new silhouette she told me about her new bra and said, “I feel like I’m being supported by a strong man’s hands.”

Cross my heart.

Forget the crash diet, just go get a Wacoal bra. They run about $55. But for an instant drop in dress size, it seems worth the price and come Sept 9th, you’ll feel like you have a brand new body.

It’s a breezy 59 degrees I’d planned on taking Dash to the park but the clouds are moving in. If we have to skip the park, as soon as we come home from school Dash is going to head straight for the couch with a sippy cup and ask me if he can watch Super Friends until his brother comes home from his playdate. But I’m sick of the TV and more sick of me letting them watch it.  I’ve got a rule that I try hard to stick to: 15 minutes of TV = me reading them one book, and yes there are days where I have to read them 8 books!

But today, we’re not turning on the TV we are going to make a craft and given my lack artistic flair this is a pretty big deal (see Holiday Workout post from 12/20). We are going to make DIY candy necklaces. I think I read about them on familyfun.com but I can’t find the recipe/instructions so I’m just going to wing it. Here’s how you make it:

Buy one bag of string licorice (red or blue or whatever color you think they will like)

Cherrios (I’ll probably break down and get Honey Nut)

And then add whatever candy or snack has a hole in it: Lifesaver gummies, pretzel tubes, etc. (Knowing Dash, he’ll want to add his secret favorite snack: uncooked Pokemon pasta). Hey it’s his necklace.

Then we’ll string the Cheerios and gummy Lifesavers on the licorice, tie it and he can eat it and rock out with his DIY candy jewels.

The whole thing should take about 15 minutes.  And then I’m sure he will ask me if he can watch Super Friends.

I’ll  post a photo if I get one.

I like my boys to look neat. They don’t need to wear peter pan collars but they do need to have clean faces and brushed hair. My boy’s tidiness says: we’re pretty much pulled together, even if we’re not. The problem is that Dashiell has had a dreadlock growing in the back of his hair for about six weeks. It started over the holidays as a maple syrup tangle that grew bigger and bigger every time I would try to comb it out or spritz it with leave in conditioner. I think the conditioner gummed up when he slept on it and it grew and grew and grew. Never mind that when I would try to touch it he would run away and try stuff his head in any small place it might fit, like his mini kitchen stove and that was actually was much more troubling than the dreadlock itself.  I brought him to the hair dresser and she couldn’t even get it out with professional detangling product without making him cry. We discussed cutting it out but it was close enough the the crown of his head that it would be an Alfalfa if it was lobbed off. So I thought I could work on it slowly (just like when his circumcision tried to reattached itself and I had to pull his foreskin back everyday day during the first three months of his life. Slow and steady won that race, so I could handle this.)

The other day I was at a party and talking about his hippie-hairdo and a friend asked, “Why not try Goo Gone?” We laughed. How funny to use  a petroleum based product that’s powerful enough to wash asphalt stains off t-shirts near my kids scalp. Hilarious!

Hilarious yet intriguing. Last night as I was, once again, making him cry by spritzing and combing his dreadlock in the tub I finally hollered to David, “Honey, can you bring me the Goo Gone!”

David brought the bottle up with a big question on his face and I flashed to that horrible scene in Slumdog when Jamal and Samil escape from the beggar camp.  Children are so willing… the first time around. David  watched me check the label that read: “Non-Toxic… Avoid prolonged contact with skin.” Clearly, if they could use the word “prolonged” it wasn’t going to burn his brain right away. I took Dashiell’s tangle in my palm and massaged a few drops of Goo Gone on it, being careful to not let the tangle touch his head or the rest of his hair. David got very nervous and told Conrad to get out of the tub and turned to me and said, “You know what else might work, setting the tangle on fire.”

I gave him my most understanding eye roll and kept massaging the knot and it completely came undone! After a shampoo and rinse his hair was as smooth as new baby peach fuzz. Except for a very slight industrial cleaner-ish smell that’s on the back of his head, you’d never even know his type of hair could master a dread lock at all. I’ve spent most of this morning, running my through his fine and shiny hair.

I know it sounds risky, but it was effective and I’d also use it (sparingly) for those times your kid’s hair comes in contact with:

Glue (Krazy, Gorilla, Elmers, and Rubber Cement)

Honey

Gum

Nail Polish ( it’s probably safer than nail polish remover because it works so quickly there’s less exposure to chemicals)

Vaseline

Diaper ointment

Penut Butter